Hell of a flight. The typical crying kids for the first two
hours, then, just when they had all fallen asleep, a drunk guy in
first class started complaining about how he couldn’t sleep and the
drinks were weak and the service was lousy. It had taken two
blankets, three pillows and my own copy of Playboy to shut him up.
Why do people think that the life of a flight attendant is all fun and
games? Jetting to Hawaii isn’t nearly as exciting when you have
to turn around and head to Kansas City half an hour later.
The only bright spot was the pair of babes in aisle thirty. I
could’ve sworn the dark-haired one, who looked Hispanic, winked at me the
last time I went by. Hey, they’re buzzing me.
“Don’t worry, Rina, I’ll get it.”
“Thanks, Mike, I’m crashing.”
“Don’t say that too loud.”
Hah. I crack me up. Well, let’s see what they want.
Probably just a pillow.
“Hello, ma’am, what can I do for you?”
“Well, it’s kind of complicated. See, my friend here, she’s always
wanted to be a pilot, and she’d really love to get a look at the
cockpit. It’s so quiet now, we thought it might be a good time.”
“Ummm…well, I’m not sure if the captain would approve of that,
“But you could ask, couldn’t you?”
“Sure thing. Just hold on a minute.”
Well, Tony didn’t seem to mind too much, since it was so quiet
and such a slow flight. So I brought them forward. Then things got
“What’s your name, captain?”
“I’m Tony, miss, and my co-pilot here is Christopher, and that’s Mike,
your flight attendant, over by the door.”
“Must be pretty boring for you up here…”
“Well, we have to check the instruments fairly often – every twenty
minutes or so.”
The blond looked over at the Hispanic girl, and asked, “Do you
think twenty minutes is enough?” She replied, “Should be plenty.
Check your instruments, please, gentlemen.” and coolly, calmly,
started unbuttoning her shirt.